My Oath to You
by MrsOdairEatonWeasley
Summary: Follow Johanna Mason and her best friend Finnick Odair through their times of mentoring their district's children to prepare for the annual Hunger Games. With eachother's help, they concour their fears and become inseparable. But with the Quarter Quell and the Rebellion edging along, is that really a good thing?
1. Introduction

There was once a place called North America. But droughts and fires, hurricanes and tornados, and encroaching seas took their toll. Brutal wars broke out as people fought for the few remaining resources. The earth was scarred and desolate, the people terrified and hopeless.

But out of the ashes and wreckage rose Panem, a nation made up of a great Capitol ringed by thirteen district, which brought peace and prosperity to its citizens for many generations.

Then came the Dark Days, the uprising of the districts against their Capitol. The shining light of our nation was clouded by war- terrible war. The thirteen districts rebelled against the country that fed them, loved them, and protected them. Their revolt left the country in tatters. Motherless children filled the streets. The land was torn asunder. After a long struggle, in which many died, there came hard-won peace. Twelve districts were defeated, the thirteenth obliterated. When the traitors were suppressed, we swore as a nation we would never allow such treason again.

Thus was the Treaty of Treason written and sighed, providing us with new laws to live by- laws that would guarantee peace. As a yearly reminder that the Dark Days must never come again, it was decreed on the same day each year, the various districts would offer up one brave man and one brave woman to fight in a pageant of honor, courage and sacrifice- the Hunger Games. The twenty four tributes are sent to an outdoor arena, where they struggle to overcome both man and nature, and triumph over the odds. Each year, the lone victor serves as a reminder of the nation's generosity and forgiveness.

This season is both a time for repentance and a time for thanks. This is how we remember our past. This is how we safe guard our future.

Now the great nation of Panem, ruled by the shining Capitol, consists of twelve districts, each essential in its own way. Each district concentrates on producing one resource, so that only together do the districts form a cohesive, powerful whole. The Capitol collects and redistributes the food and the fuel so that every district, and every family, has what it needs to prosper.


	2. The Reapings

A knock sounded at my door. I crossed over to it and turned the knob. Standing before me was Blight, my fellow mentor.

"Are you ready, Johanna?" We were going to the annual reaping in district seven. I winced at the words, but agreed. It was the one of the most horrible times of the year. It was an annual torture that Blight had managed to stay sober for. He's a bad alcoholic, but stays sober when I need him, which is rarely, because after all of my family died, I don't depend on anyone anymore.

Blight escorted me to our seats on the stage. I won the Capitols cruel and vicious Hunger Games only two years ago, and have been forced to mentor ever since. Blight has mentored for three years now. No wonder he uses alcohol almost as an escape from the twisted, evil world.

When we reached the stage, we were awarded with a hearty clap from the crowd of my district, seven. The luscious and true evergreen greens were spread out playfully and my heart ached, knowing that in a few hours I will not be able to explore my beautiful, luxurious woods, but I will be in the Capitol. The fake Capitol were people dye themselves vivid colors and needle ink into their skin. The thought disgusts me.

I don't know why everyone is clapping for Blight and I. You would want to clap for a murderer? Not me. I never clapped for Blight and the other victor Delano. But know I realize why. We beat the Capitols game. We were forced against our will to fight, and we made it out. We are the reasons that they are fed. We helped them in a way.

What a sick thing to think. 'We helped them by murdering other districts children'. That's something about the Capitol that gets me mad. They do it simply for entertainment. They force children to die just so that they could have a television show to watch when they got back from work. Sick people they are. All of them.

"Alright!" Our district escort chirps. "Let's get this car on the road!" I crossed my arms. Blight gave me a stern look. As my former mentor, sometimes I feel like he's more my brother than my friend. I laugh sometimes at the thought. "I am Clementine, your new district escort!" She was new, young, and incredibly fake. Her green hair, gold tattoos and light, pinkish tight to her skin told me so. Blight coughed, covering up a laugh. We shared a look and couldn't contain ourselves. The mayor spoke into the microphone in front of the whole district and said: "Mentors, even though you are not eligible to be picked, this is a serious time and we ask you not to act amused ." Blight's cheeks were burning, but me? I didn't give a damn, because frankly, I had nothing to be embarrassed about. I didn't think that it was a crime for a bit of laughing to break out, trying to defuse the tension that clung to the air, getting inside all of our heads. But apparently, the Mayor did.

Clementine decided to get of the subject and the ball rolling. She walked over to the glass ball that held about twenty-thousand slips of kid's names. "Lady's first!" Her Capitol accent rung through the air; everyone winced at the sound.

"Daphne Birch." The name echoed through the crowd; everyone turned to a tall, gorgeous girl in the eighteen year old section. She smirked and swaggered her way up to the stage. Confident, she took her spot on the right of Clementine. Clementine's pink hand elegantly dipped into the glass fish bowl and she selected one white slip of paper.

"Aspen Sylvain." A large man of a boy started up the steps. He turned and winked at a girl in the eighteen year old section and the girl almost fainted.

Smooth, but not very impressive. Girls drop at Finnick Odair's feet all the time.

"He's going to get some sponsors," Blight said to me as the Peacekeepers swarmed around the girl, making sure she's alright. "And we've got two with some potential."

I had to agree with Blight. Daphne was very pretty and strong. She has long, blonde hair that reached her waist and sparkling blue eyes. She was beautiful and tall and she looked witty. She will be a target with the other tributes, but hopefully she will be able to fight them off.

I had no one to say goodbye to, so I just hopped on the train. People looked at me in pity. I hate that look. I've been getting it for years now. When I was reaped, when my mom died, when my sister was killed in a freak axe murder and when I'm shipped off to the Capitol. I now get pity from Blight a lot when I should be giving it to him. My father moved away from me and doesn't even say hello when he attends reaping. I don't give a crap, but it would be nice to hear from him, so I could make sure that Snow didn't hurt him. He was everything to me once, but now he's just another cold shadow that haunts my dreams. Someday I will find him and see how he's aged.

On the train, Blight finally appeared with Daphne and Aspen. They looked like they were each crying, Blight too. Their eyes were puffy. Even though I'm not a hugger, I gave Blight one. I also gave him a kiss on the cheek. Blight has a two year old son, Ashton. He's a hell-raiser, but I definitely love spending time with him. I feel like Delano should mentor, but of course, Blight has to go. I love Blight, but when he's in the Capitol, he's always drunk. I guess I would be too if I left a family behind. It's different at home; nobody knows he's an alcoholic.

When I looked at Blight, still holding onto him, he kissed my cheek back and went to his room on the train to go cry more. I was left alone with Daphne and Aspen.

"Shouldn't you go ..?" Daphne started in a concern voice. I knew what she was going to say. I shook my head.

"Blight doesn't like to show his emotions. He pretty much likes to cry it out."

We sat down and I picked up a crab cake. It was fresh from District Four. I loved crab cakes.

"What are you waiting for, darling?" I said to Aspen. I like to call people 'Darling' because it catches them off guard from my snarky personality.

Aspen raised his eyebrows. "I feel sick," He said simply. Not surprising.

"Go get a shower," I said to him. I showed him his room and he closed the door strait in my face before I could show him how to use the modern and fancy buttons I learned how to use after two years of mentoring in the Capitol.

"Fine then," I muttered to myself. "I won't help you stay alive, bastard."

I stopped myself. I felt like crying, but I'm Johanna Mason. I don't cry. I plead, but don't cry. I shouldn't be calling the kid a 'bastard' when all he did was shut the door on me. The poor kid was reaped. No matter how ignorant he was, I was going to keep him alive. Him and Daphne equally.

I headed back, angered with myself, to the table where Clementine had appeared, chirping in her Capitol accent to Daphne about the different kinds of colorful fruits that grow in her orchard. Daphne looked disgusted and gave me pleading eyes. I immediately came to her rescue and told her a lie. A pathetic one, too, I may as well add.

"Clementine, Effie Trinket, the escort for 12 wants you to meet her in the MSC." She looked surprised and in despair that she wasn't about to finish her speech about her fruits. She hurried of to the MSC.

The MSC is abbreviated for 'Mentor Screening Centre'. Each district gets a get sort of a cubby with swivel chairs and a screen that always shows your tributes. You can send parachutes and update your sponsors and such. Usually, my tributes are as stupid as a lamppost, and after several arguments from Blight and I, they still decide idiotically that they will dash to the bloodbath in the middle of the combat. Then we have no use for the MSC and no longer go down there. I'm pretty sure I don't have those kinds of morons this year.

"Thanks," Daphne said. She looked embarrassed. When she looked at me I saw her eyes were hallow and lonely. "Johanna .." She paused.

"Go on," I urged.

"Can I call you Jo?" I nodded. "Jo, am I going to live? Will my life end because of the Capitols game?"

I sucked a breath in quickly. I dreaded this question. "Daphne, with my help, you'll win these games."

Suddenly, I wasn't sure if I was about to play these games equally.


	3. Another Fish in the Sea

Tears streamed heavily down thirteen-year-old Coral's face. She looked at me in pleading eyes that I wanted to bring back fullness to. I gave her a hug. Her chin just about reached my neckline. She was a small, fragile thing but looked agile, and good at sprinting. It was the 69th annual Hunger Games, and for the fourth year in a row, I, of course, was a mentor. Sometimes I think it's because I bring in sponsors, but Cashmere from 2 can do that with a wink of an eye. Gosh, I hate her. But in this moment of despair, I wasn't about to talk about her. It would make me think of stuff I didn't want to, like how I had to leave my parents and my younger brother, Salvador. I had to leave my girlfriend too. Her name was Mira. That was a secret though. If the Capitol knew I had a sweetheart back home, they'd track her and kill her. Guarantied.

I flashed Coral a smile of pity and hugged her tighter. There is nothing worse than seeing your tributes cry. Maybe dying is worse, but before games it always crying, because they don't know whether they will make it out alive.

Mags, a great friend of mine, extended her wrinkled hand.

"Come with me, dear," Her raspy voice clung to the air. I'm pretty sure it rung in all of our ears. Mag's voice was unique. I loved hearing it. It calmed me just like the beach does.

Coral took Mags hand reluctantly. Mags lead her to the tributes compartment to try and comfort her. I was left alone with Lachlan.

"So, what are you strengths?" I asked him. Lachlan was large and eighteen. He volunteered. I partially knew him from the docks, and that he picked some fights. He caused fisherman to get in fights with their buyers; Lachlan was considered a threat around four. He wasn't a figure to trust. I never thought I would have to mentor him. I full-fledged avoided him around town.

"Well, I can use a spear. I can gut fish."

I chuckled. Anyone in four can do that with one muscle. I laughing apparently angered him.

"Man, you're not going to be gutting fish in the arena. Maybe you can find some to eat, but there is a lake, but definitely no promise. You're in there to kill. Not fish, people. So step up your game, there are kids twice your size and twice your agility. They might not be able to gut fish, but sonny, they can gut you. And they can do it painful."

Are you telling me I'm another fish in the sea? Things die for a reason; fish die so we can eat. I won't die for entertainment," Lachlan said proudly. I nodded.

"That's the attitude."

"Odair, who the hell do you think you are? You can't just fluff around, telling kids they got the attitude when you've got the biggest one of all!" Lachlan's response caught me off guard. As I realized what he said, it stung.

"I was complementing you. I did win these games so I suggest you keep your filthy mouth to yourself!" My blood was boiling and my temper rising. I realized how he got fishermen mad. He was making this fisherman a mad man.

"You won these games purely by sponsors! You're just a symbol of prettiness here in the Capitol! You just won because Capitol ladies didn't want to see another pretty face die after that stupid Tylie character from 1!" Lachlan stormed out of the dining cart. I couldn't help but yell:

"Take your insults with you!"

Tears welled in my eyes. He insulted Tylie! Tylie was my ally. Tylie was my best friend for two weeks. It pains me to think about her. She was gorgeous. She had flowing red hair, sparkling blue eyes and a heart shaped head. I miss her so much sometimes I ache thinking about her. She isn't another one of the standard career tributes you get every year from 1 and 2. She didn't want to be a career. She volunteered because a young girl had been reaped with a crippled foot that would never make it passed the bloodbath. She was kind and thoughtful. You couldn't find another Tylie. You couldn't find one anywhere. She was a limited edition tribute and I hadn't seen one like her ever since.

Mags appeared in the dining cart.

"Honey, what happened?" Her raspy voice came through to me again and instantly comforted me.

"He insulted Tylie."

My voice was thick with tears and hallow with embarrassment. I looked at Mags cautiously. She swiftly took a seat next to me and held my hand just as she did with Coral. Although, unlike Coral, I took it instantly, not reluctantly.

"Fin, things like these happen. You cannot turn your back on Lachlan though. He muttered something about being, 'another fish in the sea'. Fin, did you tell him that?"

"No, he called himself that." I didn't look at her. I just kept my head down, letting the tears fall on the white linen tablecloth. "Mags, but he is! He is just another one of those pair of kids we had last year and the year before that and the year before that! And they will come around next year too. It doesn't matter is Coral or Lachlan won, they still are going to come."

"But Fin, no other tribute is the same. And just because they are going to keep coming, doesn't mean that you can leave them to figure out the arena by their selves. We have got to help them. That is why we are here."

I liked hearing Mags figure out my problems for me, but I couldn't help thinking that I couldn't make sense of it.

"I need you to go and say sorry."

I refused to do this. I wasn't about to go and apologize to Lachlan. He insulted my friend. It didn't matter if she was dead or not. It hurt me.

"Mags! I won't!" I whined like a little child. Mags gave me a look that said: You're a grown man. Get of your ass and do it!

I tried to swagger up to the tribute's lavish carts, but my shoulders failed embarrassingly. I ended up slumping along; my feet dragged my body as my mind told me not to go.

"Lachlan?" The one word I spoke echoes resentfully through the air.

"What?" Lachlan's voice was gruffer than mine, even though he's at least four years younger than me.

"I'm sorry." Once again, my words clung to the air shallowly.

"What's that?" Lachlan was obviously tormenting me

"I'M SORRY!" I yelled. I didn't mean to, but my vocal cords acted before my brain told them to.

"Finnick!" Mags yelled to me. I walked back to the dining cart with a look of disgust on my face. I half-expected for her to be mad and half expected for her to be comforting, but she was neither. Just silent.

"Go away, Finnick."

"Why the hell did you call me in here?" I tried to grab my words back mentally, but of course they went straight to Mags's ear, pregnant with meaning.

Mags looked up at me. Her pupils were dilating. She put her head on the table and said quietly:

"Finnick, nobody wants this extra attitude."

She was right.

"I didn't want it either though, Mags. I was trying to get it out."

"Take it out on another haddock fillet. I don't care, it was just another fish in the sea."

Mags had played my words cleverly. I nodded and stabbed the fillet, watching the vinegar flush out of it.

As I left to my room I heard Mags whisper to herself: 'That was anger, not attitude.'

Nothing I did was good enough.


	4. If You Hang On

Daphne's sobs were audible through the screams of triumph and frustration. I ran over to her. She was in the training center prepping for her time in the arena. The worst thing you can do is hurt yourself before the games, and sadly, Daphne succeeded with that.

I stalked over to her, trying to blend in.

"Daphne! What the hell are you doing? You're a target now! Get up and throw some axes! Just, do something other than crying, okay?" I hissed at her. She nodded whipped her tears away and picked up a slender axe. She didn't say anything, but I knew she was mad at me. Also, her middle finger was sticking up in my direction.

The other tributes snickered as she got up and laughed in her direction. When she picked up her axe I was almost positive she was going to slice someone's head off with it. But instead, she sliced through every single dummy, one axe at a time.

She sliced through the chest, the neck, the skull, she even sliced the knees out of one and then severed his off his chest with a flick of her wrist.

I looked at the other tributes look of awe and smirked. Daphne can really make a show, good or bad.

When I was deep in thought I heard some voices break out heavily. It was the brutish boy, Deion from one yelling at a helpless tribute. I didn't think that that helpless tribute was going to be mine.

"Did you take my knife? DID YOU TAKE MY KNIFE?!" Deion was threatening Aspen.

"No! I didn't, I swear!" Aspen pleaded. I stormed over there and demanded he let my tribute go.

"LET HIM GO, YOU WORTHLESS BASTARD!" I probably shouldn't have called him that, but my blood wasn't exactly circulating to my head.

Deion was holding Aspen by the neck of his training shirt.

"Put him down!" I pleaded again. Deion looked at me with utter disgust. He did put Aspen down, but of course, went for me.

"Who the hell do you think you are, Mason?" Deion looked spitting mad, and when he turned to me I happened to notice the unpleasant shade of purple that was visible in his face. He was flexing him muscles savagely. I looked down at my own body. I was now a bit over weight and definitely not in the shape I should have been. I winced when he kicked my legs. I fell on the hard ground of the training center.

Deion shoved his fist into my stomach painfully. I flinched much to my dismay. Then he slammed his palm onto my windpipe, cutting off my rapid flow of air to my head. I cried out in pain; Deion kicked my hip and left me on the ground.

I prepared myself for more, and it did come. Deion gave another kick to my head and muttered some swears surely about me under his breath. When he was about to kick me again, he slumped on the ground. When I was helped on my feet I realized what happened. Finnick Odair had shot him in the chest with a bow and arrow.

Finnick hugged me tight and whipped he blood out of my hair. Then he gave me a kiss on the cheek and pulled me to the medical station of the training center.

The nurse, Bleseler, was shocked to see me there. Usually she gets tribute with sprained ankles and such. But I was truly injured.

Bleseler sat me on the bench and examined my hip, ankles, head and neck. She kept on muttering 'Humph' and 'Mmmhmm.' it was quite annoying.

Finnick finally spoke up after ten minutes: "What's wrong with her?"

"Well," spoke Bleseler. "She was some impaired tendons."

"Is that even a thing?" Finnick asked in disbelief.

"I think so.." Bleseler's voice trailed off. Obviously she didn't know. I had to admit, I was annoyed.

"Come on Jo," Finnick said to me. He supported me as I walked through the training center. I could see Deion getting yelled at for harassing me. Maybe he was going to be sentenced to death. They have never had a tribute that went out of their way to beat up another tribute, mentor or Gamemaker. I can't see them killing Deion though; beating me up just shows he's ready for any attackers.

When I got back into our floor, my tributes were there, as well Blight.

Blight cleared his throat. He nudged Aspen gently and I raised my eyebrows, but lowered them because it hurt too much.

"I'm sorry," Aspen said quietly.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked, taking a seat next to Clementine.

"I'm sorry I took Deion's knife. It was my entire fault." Blight cleared his throat again, this time though, Aspen looked annoyed and slight embarrassed. "And thank you."

I smiled gently. Aspen looked at Blight expecting to hear another throat clearing, but instead Blight said:

"You did good, sonny." Aspen nodded. Blight crossed over to me. He whispered four little words into my ear:

"I'm going to cry."

I followed Blight into the living room and let him cry on my shoulder. When he finally faced me, I asked him:

"What's wrong?"

"She's dead! Cherry! She's dead!"

I gasped. I cried with Blight.

Cherry were Blight's wife and sometimes, I felt like she was my sister. I could depend on her for anything. But now, she's all gone. Just like my mother, father and actual sister. My uncle Leaf is gone too. I miss them all, but right now, I miss Cherry the most.

Blight continued to sob. After a few minutes, I dared to ask, "Where's Ashton?"

"He's staying with my mother. He knows that something wrong, but nobody wants to tell him. Johanna, what am I going to do? I can't raise Ashton. I'm always here! What's a boy without his parents? I just, I don't want to lose him."

My heart softened and I spoke clearly to him, "You will never lose him if you hang on."


	5. Reasons

I was thinking. And I mean THINKING. Thoughts rustled through my head like leaves on trees. I decided, I was going to make a love letter to Mira. She was my girlfriend, and I think I love her. I'm not sure if she is returning the feelings though. The second thing I was kind of edgy about was writing one to Johanna. Not a love letter of course, more like a thank you note. Maybe a pact. I think an oath would be a specific word for it.

I wasn't completely sure if I loved Mira, so I was going to hold off on that one. But I started Jo's right away.

_Dear Jo,_

_You've been with me through the good times and bad, and this is my time to say thank you. After you won the games, you were the one I could really connect to. I could connect to Mags, but your closer to my age. _

I stopped. Was it to serious? I re-read it a few times and decided it was okay, for an oath anyways. I thought again, and actually considered the thought that something was going to come. Was it going to be a war? A nuclear explosion ending all mankind? Was it going to be a new president (Maybe that wasn't a bad thing)? So many thoughts were crammed in my mind I tried to sleep them off for a few hours. I finally drifted into sleep peacefully.

District Seven never looked more beautiful. I guess you could say that I, Johanna Mason, was home at last. But I wasn't going to be here long, of course. Daphne and Aspen need Blight and I, so we were just there for a day.

Cherry looked even more beautiful than the district. She was dressed in black with her hands across her heart. Leaves were weaved carefully in her hair and her eyes were shut. Her stomach seemed to be collapsed though. I gently ran my fingers over the black, silken cloth.

Nothing.

Cherry's stomach wasn't there! It was a freaky thought, but completely true. I mustn't tell Blight though; he doesn't know how Cherry passed and I wasn't going to be the heartless fool to tell him.

The pastor spoke with a clear, indifferent voice that boomed through the chapel.

"I welcome you all for the ceremonial presentation of Cherry Birch-Hazel .."

Something made me alert. Birch.. I knew it was a type of tree, but I didn't know that it was her maiden name. But I knew someone, am possibly friend with someone that has that last name. And that's when it hit me.

Daphne Birch.

Daphne must have been Cherry's niece or something. I wasn't going to tell Blight, he seemed sad enough, but I was going to confront Daphne, gently.

Daphne and Cherry did look alike. They were both stunning. Cherry and Daphne have the same wavy, blonde hair that flows to their shoulders and that long neck that delicately holds their head. They have the same agile legs and torso. I started to get dizzy and sad thinking about it, but one thing was for sure that I could make out in my mind: I was going to bring Daphne home alive, for Cherry and Blight and Ashton and the rest of her family.

I really had to stop thinking about this. It was just so mind-numbing. I tried to keep my eyes on the pastor, but they always drifted mindlessly to the stained windows. They were so beautiful and colorful. My eyes then flipped to Cherry's oak coffin. It was a symbol of gratitude if your family and friends paid for an oak coffin. It always meant 'Thanks'. But I thought that it wasn't enough for Cherry to be remembered by. When the pastor asked if anyone would like to speak, I jumped at the opportunity.

"Go ahead, Miss Mason."

I took a deep breath and began:

"Cherry was my friend. I mean, she was all of our friends. I miss her just like everyone here does; she was like my sister. Even though I have no family left, I felt as though Cherry, Blight and Ashton made up for every single one of them. She was my role model and I will never, ever forget her. She was everything to me, and now that she's gone, I feel as though I'm alone. I don't have anyone except for Blight left.

"I see Cherry everywhere I go. I see her in the forest: There are Cherry trees, Birch trees and Hazel trees. What I mostly see her in is my female tribute, which I believe is related to Cherry. Her name is Daphne Birch, and she is just like Cherry in every way. She was her stunning looks, her beautiful personality and her sense of humor. So in a way, I kind of feel like Cherry is still with me through Daphne."

People clapped for me again. I actually believed I had a good speech. I gave Blight a hug and took Ashton outside as the adults kissed Cherry's limp cheek as she lay in the coffin.

"Nona," Ashton said, addressing me with my stuck nickname. "Where's my momma?"

I held back tears. "Ashy, Momma is gone somewhere. She's on a vacation."

"A vacation?" Ashton sounded the foreign words out slowly. I nodded. "Where is she staying?" He asked.

Then, I smiled. I pointed to the clouds wordlessly. Ashton looked at me amazed.

"She's been gone since yesterday," Ashton informed me.

"I know."

"You know everything, Nona."

"What do I know, Ashy?"

"You know that Momma's going to vacation in the clouds."

"Yes. I do know that." Ashton nodded.

"Someday, Nona, me and you and Daddy will vacation there with her. I wish I could go now."

"I wish I could too." Reality hit me. And it hit me hard. I did want to go to heaven. I wanted to stay there on a peaceful vacation that Ashton thinks his mother is on. I want to go see my sister, Cherry, my mother, my friends I have lost and the tributes I have killed. I want to meet Fin's best friend Tylie. I want to go say sorry to every single one of them, because I know I have a reason. I sure have a reason to die, as well.

But what's my reason to live?


	6. Too Far

I was really starting to get annoyed with Lachlan. He totally left Coral at training when I specifically told him to watch her. She's only thirteen, and if one of the careers even yells at her, she'll snap like a twig.

I was thinking a lot about this oath thing to Johanna. It would be good, because obviously I will die, and saying thank you to someone for a whole list of things is kind of embarrassing. A note will be much easier. I'm scared that she will, like, get freaked out if I throw in some stuff that I would never tell her face to face. I don't want Jo to freak out, because when she does, she always hurts someone.

To calm me down I thought of starting Mira's love letter. But that got me even more confused. What the hell do I say? It's hard to say sentimental things to someone as sexy as her. She just expects me to snog her and that junk. Was she really a good girlfriend? I wasn't sure. Was she using me? I wasn't sure on that one either. People had warned me about her, but I didn't believe any of that junk. Maybe I should have..

I started my love note anyways.

_Dear Mira,_

_I really like you. I'll probably be dead by the time you read this, but I wanted to know while I was living, were you using me? Did you actually love me, or were you trying to get the benefits like the snogging and a few other unmentionable stuff? Did you make love with someone else while I was in the Capitol? These questions are most likely never going to be answered, but I want you to know that I l-_

I was about to write 'I love you'. But do I really love Mira? She was a crowd pleaser, she could be a bit of a bitch too. Maybe she wasn't the best girlfriend. I would have to thin more on this when I got home to District Four.

I worked a bit more on Jo's oath. All I had so far was this:

_Dear Jo,_

_You've been with me through the good times and bad, and this is my time to say thank you. After you won the games, you were the one I could really connect to. I could connect to Mags, but your closer to my age._

_I've felt throughout the past years that you have loved me. I feel as though you are my sister. Jo, I lost my sisters, all five of them, but you make up for every single one of them. You're better than my girlfriend, Mira too. She can be a bit bitchy and sometimes, I don't even know why I stay with her._

I didn't mean I wanted to date her; Jo is like my sister, and that will never change. I hope not, anyways. I'll have to mention that when I do another paragraph.

Mags and I have been working together, trying to get my tributes ready for their interviews. Coral is going to go as innocent and cute; Lachlan is going to go as ignorant and snarky. He picked that himself.

Coral was getting ready with her prep team. At the tribute parade she was dressed as an adorable mermaid. I have been getting quite a few sponsors for her. Not a lot for Lachlan though; he pushed Coral when she was hopping along into the building and paparazzi got it on camera. I don't really care for Lachlan, whereas Coral reminds me a lot of my younger sister, Marina, which died expectantly due to 'food poisoning'. I know it was Snow though. I'm really getting determined to bring Coral home, even though it probably will not happen.

Coral came out, ready for her interview in a strapless, short aqua gown that had sparkles around the chest which slowly faded as it got to the hem. She looked gorgeous; her chestnut hair was cascading curls strait down to her waist.

When Lachlan came out, I turned away. I didn't want to see that idiot. But Mags whispered something into my ear:

"She's crying". I turned to see Coral sobbing black tears as Lachlan pulled her hair. I was enraged. When I stopped him he looked at me with a dumb expression on his face.

"What did she do to you?" I asked him menacingly.

"She said that my feet are big." Mags mouth dropped open. Coral buried her head into my shoulder.

"She's thirteen!" Mags said. "If you don't drop this attitude you won't live a day in the arena!"

Lachlan looked disgusted. Paparazzi were back and taking pictures of Lachlan. They were saying stupid stuff like: 'Lachlan why did you assault that little girl?'

The interviews for the kids from 1, 2 and 3 breezed by. Then it was Lachlan's turn.

"Hello, Lachlan, from District Four!" Caesar Flickerman said cheerfully. Lachlan was annoyed so of course he rolled his eyes. Could things get any worse for me? Caesar took jokingly offence.

"Well, how are you today?" Caesar asked him.

"Couldn't get any worse." Lachlan replied. Mags and I groaned in unison. Who the hell does this kid think he is? The audience didn't know what to say.

"Well, how so?" Caesar asked. Lachlan looked at him with a profound expression on his face.

"I said I'm not having a good day, so leave me alone about it!" I couldn't take it anymore. I hopped on stage. That's right, I got on stage.

"Lachlan!" I yelled. Several girls in the audience squealed. I hate when girls squeal.

"What the hell do you want, Odair?" I was really annoyed now. I lead Lachlan off stage and apologized to Caesar. When Mags said Lachlan could be snarky and ignorant for his interview, she didn't mean for him to take it this far!

Coral's interview was a hit. She made almost every single person in the audience smile or say 'Awe!' She was as good as you could get.

Jo appeared by my side.

"Where were you yesterday? I was going to take you out to dinner." I said to her with a wink. She rolled her eyes.

"I was home. Blight's wife died."

"Oh, Jo, I'm so sorry!" I gave her a hug. Johanna is about as tall as Coral. She is gaining weight fast, too. I need to start getting her in shape.

"Oh, it's okay. People come and go." I nodded. I felt bad for her. Just like me, she had lost everything. Now, this was just another cup of water in the bucket.

When Johanna's tribute Aspen was lead on stage several people wolf-whistled. I smiled in jealousy. She rocked his performance; he went as funny.

When Daphne, Johanna's female tribute went on, I took a second look at her. She was absolutely stunning!

"Hello Daphne!" Caesar greeted her warmly.

"Why, hello Caesar."

The interview escalated quickly, and then I heard, 'I'm so sorry for your loss.' I looked at Jo questioningly. She nodded.

"Daphne was Blight's wife, Cherry's niece."


	7. Together

*** This is a very short chapter because I really wanted to reflect on Johanna's relationhip with Cherry. Thanks for reading! ~Dawn xx**

Before the interviews, I took Daphne aside.

"Does Cherry ring a bell?" I asked her silently. She nodded and started to cry. I swear, Cherry must have been her aunt or her cousin. It was sad seeing Daphne cry. She dripped mascara all over my black cardigan, but I didn't care. I just wanted her to cry it out. That's what you have to do, isn't it?

"It's okay, cry it out. I loved her too. I miss her too." I tried to sooth Daphne, but obviously I'm not very good at it. I just made her cry even more.

"She was my aunt," Daphne gasped.

"She was like my sister. Would you like me to tell you what I thought about her? Would it make you feel better?" Daphne nodded, so I started.

"Cherry was like my best friend. She was everything to me. My mother died, my sister died and my dad moved away from me to be closer to his girlfriend. Daphne, I had nobody! I had to turn to someone. Blight and I had mentored the year before together and really hit it off. He only lived across the street with his wife, so I started visiting them. Cherry and I got closer and closer over the next year. Ashton, her son, was a little hell-raiser and I was his partner in crime. Cherry was the person I told everything to. And without her, knowing that I can't go home to thank warm embrace makes me feel hallow inside. I miss her like crazy. I used to call her every night. In fact, I'm not sure what happened this year, but we didn't call. I should have, because I felt like that would have prevented her death!"

I was in hysterics now and Daphne was comforting me.

"You could have never prevented her death if you tried. I feel lonely and sad knowing that if I do win, she won't be there to congratulate me back home. But if I do get killed, I know I can be with her."

I had never thought of that, but it's completely true. For some odd reason, I wanted Daphne to lose. I wanted Daphne to be with her aunt.

"We have to go get you ready for your interview tonight," I said, leading Daphne to the prep team. She groaned and I smiled.

"Are you ready, sweetheart?" A member of Daphne's prep team asked.

"No."

"That's the spirit!" I told Daphne, and we laughed together.


	8. The Bloodbath

I was freaking out. Mags couldn't even calm me down. Words were jumbled inside my head. My hands were shaking.

It was the day of the bloodbath.

I tried working on Johanna's and Mira's notes, but they just turned out messy because I couldn't hold my hand without shaking. I was so scared that Coral was going to die. She's only so young, but there is no way she can win. There's Lachlan out there. I'm really scared to see something disturbing on the screen like Lachlan brutally killing Coral. I really want to use all of the sponsor money for Coral, but Mags says that that is unfair to Lachlan, because he did earn some of that money himself. But Coral and it makes me proud to say, won most of it. She's a real people-pleaser. I think it helps that it helps that she's 13 and beautiful.

I met with Coral and Lachlan's stylists for some quick chit-chat. Their names were Reese and Pilot. They were idiots. When I saw the outfits that the tributes were going to be wearing this year, I was puzzled. The outfits were a tank-top and sweatpants and I small windbreaker with socks and sandals.

"It's not the most fashionable thing going, but the gamemakers requested it," Reese said with a chirpy tone of voice that made me wince audibly.

I nodded and left the room.

I took a nap and was ready to go down to the MSC with Mags and Johanna possibly. My tributes were with their stylists preparing for the bloodbath. I told them the usual, don't charge into the bloodbath unless you know that you can take every single last one of them, and if you don't think you can take every single last one of them, head for the forest and try to find water.

When Mags and I were seated in our comfy swivel chairs, we heard the gong ring out. I kept my eyes on Coral and she kept her eyes on Lachlan.

Coral sprinted at a remarkable speed right into the forest. She kept running and running until she saw a large cliff. She stopped and ran to her right, where a lake was. On her way out she managed to grab a small pack that contained beef jerky, a two-litre water bottle that was bone dry, a loaf of bread, a small dagger and some rope. The best thing of all in there was iodine to make her water clean. She read the instructions carefully on the back and dripped some in her water bottle. She shook the iodine along with the water and put it back in her pack, as well as the rest of the stuff. She examined the outside of the pack, which happened to be bright, reflector orange. She cleverly started coating it with wet mud and leaves. When she was done, she looked pretty proud of her work.

"Would you like to play back Lachlan?" Mags asked me. "I'm willing to play back Coral. You seem pretty interested in it. I nodded with a smirk and traded seats with her.

Lachlan ran right into the bloodbath and joined the careers, much to my dismay. He got injured by the boy from six, but whipped it off as if it were nothing. There was something unusual about this year's arena: to the right you had your standard forest, but to the right there was a stone maze. That's right, a maze. Lachlan and the careers decided to go through it, taking an enormous risk.

They all started at the same place, but took different routes throughout it. There were huge spiders to fight off; there was a pack of dogs in the middle, where they all met. But they kept it up, all five of them.

When they got to the end there was a bunch of food and weapons and all of hat. They rejoiced. When they gathered all of the food up, ready to turn back, they couldn't. Stone was blocking them from the rest of the tributes. They started to panic foolishly and I laughed. They were quite a sight. But, it blacked out. That was it for tonight's episode.

Aspen died, the fool. He ran straight into the bloodbath after I specifically told him not to! Daphne went into the bloodbath too, but made it out with an alliance, the girl from eleven. I was meeting up with Seeder, the eleven mentor and we were going to pool our sponsor money together, now that our tributes were an alliance.

"Hello, Johanna!" Seeder greeted me warmly. I really liked her.

"Hi, Seeder. How much money did you get for Rye?" That was her female tributes name. She opened a bag and showed me a bag of gold coins. My jaw dropped.

"People like a tribute like her." I knew what Seeder meant. Rye was extremely sexy. She had black, wavy hair that reached to her waist and sparkling blue eyes that stood out against her dark skin tone.

"Now, Jo, how much sponsor money did you get?" I laughed. I showed her a slightly smaller bag than Rye's that had plenty enough coins for me to sponsor her until the games were over. We put our money together and had an amazing amount.

"Now, I have to save some for my male tribute too. He made it," Seeder said. I nodded and she put a handful of coins in her purse.

"I really believe that one of our tributes is going to make it through." Seeder agreed with me. Rye and Daphne together had a small loaf of bread and two enormous jugs of water, full to the brim. We bought them a few carrots that will hold them until tomorrow. We planned to buy more; that purchase hadn't even made a dent in our pile. I trusted Seeder, so I let her keep the money until we agree on buying more.

I'm determined to get one of them out alive. And I think that I have my assumptions right.


	9. A Show

Aspen knocked on my window. He climbed up a rope ladder right to the seventh floor. He had a clever in his skull. He rapped on my window and I woke up from an uncomfortable slumber.

"Why didn't you help me? You love Daphne, that's why! She's your best friend's niece! Well, guess what? I will kill her! Just like you did to me!" I shrieked and flung him off of me.

Suddenly, Tylie, Finnick's well described best friend appeared too.

"Finny didn't tell me about you!" She teased me with a sharp dagger. My eyes caught sight of blood dripping from her stomach. Finnick told me that she got an axe in the stomach. It immediately reminded me of Cherry, how her stomach wasn't there.

My face was full of Tylie's blood. I cried and screamed, but they didn't give up. Tylie traced her dagger across my cheekbones and Aspen took the clever from his head as chucked it at me. It beheaded me.

I was dead.

"And then Tylie came!" I was explaining to Finnick all about my bad dreams. "She looked exactly as you said she did! She had the red hair, heart-shaped head and long neck. She was gorgeous, but that didn't run through my head in the dream because she was trying to murder me along with my dead tribute."

My voice trailed off as I saw tears threatening to spill off of Finnick's eyelids.

"I'm so sorry." I said to him. We were at a Capitol restaurant, and I know how embarrassing it would be for Finnick for him to cry. He's masculine, not soft.

We both ordered the special, which were fish and chips. I planned to trade Finnick my fish for his chips. I only liked crab.

"What have you been doing lately? I haven't seen you. Are your tributes still alive?" I asked him. He nodded.

"Coral has no alliances, which worries me. She needs someone to help her. Lachlan joined the careers." Finnick looked like he smelled something bad. We both shared one thing in common: We hated the careers.

"I wish that there was some way in communicating to them. We aren't even allowed to send them notes with their parachute," I said with a sigh. He nodded. Something was bothering him; I could tell. It was the way he was breathing. His eyes looking lonely and unreachable. The lively green orbs that once starred at me looked dull and hallow. I had to stop thinking about this.

"Fin, is something bothering you?" I asked him after a long pause. He nodded. "What is it then?"

"It's Mira. She lives in my house in Victors Village when I'm away. You know, they are just more comfortable than out grass huts that contractors build.

I nodded. "Go on." I urged.

"Well, I tried calling there today, but there was no answer. I put in the right number: 34743. That's the right numbers, right?" I nodded again.

"It spells fish: 3474. And it has and 3 for an F at the end for Finnick. Mine is 873375. 87337 spells trees and the 5 at the end is for J for Johanna."

Finnick looked at me amazed. "I just noticed that! Now I'll never ever forget!" I giggled. He must have forgot all about his concerns for Mira.

"I bet you that district five's is .. um.. 76937! Power!" Finnick said. I smiled. He kept on doing more and more until he got bored.

Mags suddenly rushed in while we were staring to eat. I shoved a chip in my mouth and turned to her.

"Finnick," she started in a rushed voice. "Come on, you've got to see this! You too, Johanna!"

I was surprised she even knew my name. We followed her into the MCS to her screen showing her tributes.

"Lachlan's in trouble!" She exclaimed.

Lachlan was fighting with the careers. They were stuck on this stone maze. Lachlan was trying to pursue them to stay there and just let the other tributes die off. They didn't like that idea; they wanted to fight. Moxie, the horrible fourteen year-old from 2 agreed with Lachlan.

"We won't have any trouble here," She said.

Deion and Hudson from 1 shared a look. They nodded at each other. Deion went to pull out his threatening sword from his belt, but Moxie was too quick for him. She stabbed him in the thigh, smiling to herself. She said, "Oh, Deion, don't think I'm going to let you die quickly." Then, much to my surprise, she planted a kiss of Deion's mouth. The other careers didn't kill each other, they just watched.

Moxie put her hands up his shirt and they lingered for quite a while.

"What the hell is she doing?" Finnick said. Mags and I shrugged.

Moxie kissed him one last time. She must have held it for five minutes. And then, with one swift movement, she stabbed him in the heart.

That was it for Deion.

Lachlan caught one quickly and knew that the show was over. He slit Hudson's throat and turned to Simone for 1.

"I'll do whatever you want me to, just please! Don't kill me!" She begged cowardly. Lachlan kicked her and she doubled over in pain.

"Alright," he said gruffly. "I won't kill you! On one condition: you kill the girl from my district."

I looked at Finnick. His eyes were wide opened and scared. He started to cry.

"NO! DON'T KILL HER! NO!" He screamed at the screen. He punched it with all his might. He kept screaming and didn't stop. I looked at Mags with the same look Daphne gave me at the start of the games when Blight was crying.

"Let him get it out, darling."

I nodded, feeling useless.

I went over to check how Daphne and Rye were doing with Blight, who was working at Seeder and Chaff's station.

"What's going on?" I asked them.

"They ate it all, the idiots," Blight said, frustrated.

"Why don't we just buy them something else?" I asked with a blank expression on my face. You could still hear Finnick screaming.

"Somebody stole all of our money."


	10. Tears

***This is a very short chapter, but I promise that tomorrows will make up for it! Happy Reading (: ~Dawn xx**

I think I finished my love letter to Mira. I thought it was alright. I totally rewrote it, and I have to say, it is ten times better than before.

_Dear Mira,_

_You taught me how to love. I can never repay you for that. You're a beautiful girl who deserves to move on from me, because surely, I'm dead. Long gone and unreachable, so move on, because you deserve to do something other in your life than grieve. _

_I believe that you have a sister that died, and you never told me. It's just another thing that we share in common. I had five sisters that died, and Marina was your sister's age. I wish that they could meet._

_The best thing about our relationship is that you really connect to me and that we like each other a lot. I believe that we have a bond unbreakable, even now that I'm gone. _

_I just wanted to say that I really like you,_

_From, Finnick. _

It was a bit overwhelming; all of it. I didn't want to keep on writing Jo's oath, so I put that off for a little while.

I couldn't stop thinking about how Lachlan wants to kill Coral. What kind of a twisted bastard would do that? I started freaking out at the thought. I had to keep Coral safe. I had to bring her home. She's so innocent!

I didn't want to go to the MSC or to lunch, so I got an avox to bring me some warm milk and toast. I thanked him and ate.

I must have been screaming in my sleep, because Mags woke me up. Then I remembered perfectly. I was having a nightmare.

Lachlan was chasing me with Deion's threatening sword. When he had killed me, I saw Coral. She was in a locked cage with Tylie. They both chanted in unison: "Finnick! Save us!"

Johanna then rounded on me. She pulled an axe from her head and killed me skillfully and painfully. Then Deion bet her, screaming that I was his kill. It was all too vivid for my liking.

But I had to remind myself that it was just a big nightmare.

"What happened, Fin?" Mags asked, turning the lights on.

"I had a nightmare."

Mags nodded understandingly and sat on the edge of the bed. "Would you like me to sing to you?"

I nodded.

Out in the sea,

A sailboat shines,

Made out of glass,

The long stretch of mass,

Glimmers in the sky,

So high!

I'll never forget,

You, my love,

And never the less,

Reach to you, my love,

Because when the time comes,

I'll carry your wisdom.

Out in the sea,

A sailboat shines,

Made out of glass,

The long stretch of mass,

Glimmers in the sky,

So high!

Because it's made,

For you and for me.

Tears sprung to my eyes. I had heard that song so many times, but it never falters to give me tears.

Mags held me for a while, and then told me that I had to get ready for the party with the gamemakers. I nodded ruefully.

I groaned when Clementine gave me a package. It was the dress I had to wear to tonight's party with the gamemakers.

The dress was bright yellow and barely covered my ass or my breasts.

"President Snow picked it out himself!" Clementine spoke as if that were a good thing.


	11. I'm With you Now

I was heading down to the MSC once again. Daphne and Rye were doing quite well, considering we gave them nothing. We have no money, so they cannot depend on Seeder, Chaff, Blight and I. Daphne killed only three, the boy from six, the girl from twelve and the boy from eight.

Cashmere, the idiot mentor for one has been giving Finnick dirty looks ever since Lachlan killed Hudson. It was fun to see her mad for once and not her usual faux personality. I heard she was having trouble getting sponsors because her girl tribute Simone practically bowed at Lachlan's feet.

Blight was watching intensely in his swivel chair. Daphne and Rye were picking different kinds of berries. Suddenly, I saw one peculiar one. It stuck out like a sore thumb: Nightlock.

"No," I breathed to myself as I took a seat beside Blight.

"These are Nightlock berries. They kill you before they even reach your stomach," Daphne informed Rye,

"Don't eat it," Rye said simply with her District 11 accent. Daphne grinned solemnly.

"Rye, I have no way out! You are a stronger than me and can kill me in a second. I'm not going to make it, Rye, so win for me."

"Daphne!" I screamed at the screen helplessly. "NO!" I was panicking. What do I do?

"Continue," Rye told Daphne, tears, wandering on her cheeks.

"I don't want it to come down to just me and you," Daphne held the deadly berries in her hand. "I want to be remembered, though, Rye. I need you to win. I don't want to be in this cruel, twisted world anymore. I want to live in peace, with all the people I lost, like my grandmother. The most important person that I want to meet when I die is Cherry."

Daphne's words seemed to echo through the air. Of course, they found a home in Blight's ears. He sobbed and put his head down on the desk. I patted his back, but kept my attention on the screen.

"Cherry was mine and my mentor Johanna's, best friend," Daphne explained. Now, it was my turn to cry. But I still kept watching. "Cherry was my aunt and the nicest person that ever walked this planet. I hope that one day, when you die, you can meet Cherry with me. You'd love her, and I know that she would love you too." Daphne smiled. She raised the berries to her mouth.

I screamed and kicked at the screen. I was raging. The other mentors were looking at me with eyes that plainly said 'What the hell are you doing?' I was mad obviously, but I was also hurt and in pain. I needed Daphne to live for Blight and Ashton, Daphne's family and friends. But mostly, Cherry. I needed her to live for Cherry.

Daphne's arm seemed to move in slow motion. I still screamed and cried at the screen but it didn't effect Daphne of course. Then she seemed to look right into my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jo."

I lost it. I couldn't contain myself. I screamed and cried and hollered. Anyone that has ever gone through this will understand. Blight and Finnick will understand. Finnick lost his own cousin because of these games.

The Nightlock finally met with Daphne's mouth. Rye's eyes widened and she screamed and tried to pry the berries out of Daphne's hand. Of course, it didn't work. The berries were swallowed.

"I'm sorry, Jo," Daphne said one more time. Then she slumped to the ground, dead.

Rye screamed and cried just like me. She tried and resentfully failed with CPR.

Finnick appeared with a tear stained face. I still screamed and cried, but I hugged him too. I sat back down in my swivel chair and stared blankly at the black screen that I had become familiar with over two angry years.

Finnick tried to pull me away, but I just wanted to stay. I wanted to stare at the blank screen just as it was doing to me. I didn't want to move, but most of all: I didn't want to accept the fact the she was dead.

And that's when it sunk in. She's dead. All my hard work vanished as she swallowed the poisonous berries. I can no longer call Daphne my tribute. She's the Capitol's victim. And now, she's their newly found prey.

'I'm sorry, Jo.'

Daphne's voice repeated endlessly in my head. I didn't even notice when Finnick scooped me up and carried me to my room. I felt like I was dead.

'I'm sorry, Jo.'

Daphne would not leave me alone.

'I'm sorry, Jo.'

I woke from a surprisingly dreamless slumber. Finnick was still down at the MSC, watching his female tribute, Coral. She seemed to be doing alright.

'I'm sorry, Jo.'

"How is Coral doing?" I asked him.

'I'm sorry, Jo.'

"Great! She just killed all of the career tributes with snares!"

I saw her on the screen. Two hung from their ankles, dead. They had wounds in their stomach. Lachlan was still hanging alive though.

"Coral, please! Please Coral, spare me," He pleaded.

"Why?" Coral asked with a step back.

"Because you're from my district. You're my friend!" Lachlan said, his face turning an unpleasant shade of purple.

"Friends? Lachlan, you assaulted me before the games started!" Coral spoke out. I was taken aback. She seemed so quiet. She was fierce and fired up. Nothing seemed to make her flinch. Not even the dried blood that was splattered on her face. She took one look at his helpless face and shoved her dagger in his stomach.

"Bye, bye, Lachlan."

The right side of Finnick's screen was black. Lachlan had died.

'I'm sorry, Jo.'

"I'm sorry, Finnick."

I shut my eyes, trying to block out Daphne's haunting, dead voice.

"Don't be."

With that, he left.

I checked in with Seeder. She offered me a hug and of course, I walked right into it.

'I'm sorry, Jo.'

"I'm sorry, Johanna." I almost mistook Seeder's voice for Daphne's. I nodded solemnly. I watched Rye. It was down to only her and Coral. Coral had all the food she needed in a pyramid inside her tiny camp. On the outside, a ring of snares were hidden. She had a clever strategy. When Rye appeared, me walked right into Coral's trap. Seeder moaned.

Coral awoke when Rye's scream flooded the forest. Coral sighed and pulled out her dagger.

"Can I do it?" Rye asked. I raised my eyebrows. Coral obviously trusted her. She passed over the dagger and hid behind the pyramid.

"Thank you," Rye said. I thought she was going to go and cut the snare, but she didn't. She plunged the dagger fluently into her heart with on last moan. Before Rye died, however, a few words slipped out of her mouth:

"I'm with you now, Daphne."


	12. Guilt

Coral won the 69th annual Hunger Games. I was really proud to bring her home where the crowd whooped and cheered. Everyone loved her.

Of course, President Snow could not use her for his unmentionable auctions because she was too young and vulnerable. So, a few weeks later, she was killed. Snow could not make money off of her, so he thought she was better off dead.

The day of her funeral, I sat on the beach at sunrise, making patterns with the faint trace of stars that dappled the sky. I realized that all twenty four tributes were dead, every single one of them, even Snow's victor. The thought was over whelming and I began to cry.

Mira appeared by my side.

"What's wrong, Fin?" She asked me, obviously not caring.

"Coral is dead and today is her funeral."

I said only that because I didn't feel like talking. But of course, Mira practically forced me to.

"I don't think that this is working out," She said, not daring to look at me.

"What's not working out?"

"Our relationship." That bitch! She said it so matter-of-factly that it made me want to strangle her. I was here crying over the death of a thirteen-year-old and she tells me she's breaking up with me.

She got up and walked away, leaving me crying in the sand.

I finally decided to get the ambition to get up and head to my house in Victor's Village. When I entered it, Mira was sitting on a stool at the counter-top island, drinking tea comfortably.

"What the hell are you doing here, Mira?" I said, wrinkling my nose as if she were a bad smell. I hated her now for her lack of comforting sympathy.

"I decided it was working, Finny," She smiled warmly and charmingly. I didn't care.

"Mira, you broke up with me, so get out!" I didn't mean it to come out so harsh, but it did. Mira looked enraged.

"Finnick, I came back for you! I decided that I was too good to let you be sad. Wait, that didn't make sense." She started thinking and thinking, trying to find a sentence about how she felt without complementing me.

"Mira, I told you to get out of my house!" I pointed to the door as she looked at me with a blank expression. Her face soon turned from lost to angry. She stormed into the kitchen and pulled a steak knife from the knife slab. My eyes widened and she nodded as if to say, 'Oh yes'.

The knife whizzed past me and I ducked. I was about to duck out the window when I second and more murderous knife caught me in the shoulder blade. I cried in pain and looked menacingly at Mira. Blood from my shoulder cascaded onto the floor, making a mess I would surely have to clean up after my lunatic of an ex-girlfriend exited my house.

I felt like I was going to pass out, but I whispered 'stay strong' to myself. If I did fall into an accidental slumber I would surely be murdered by another one of my kitchen knives.

Blood continued to fall. Mira laughed manically. She came over and kicked me in the neck forcibly.

"I'm not done with you yet, Odair."

The words echoed in my head. I had finally realized as I received many blows to the head, that the knife that hit me in the shoulder lay beside me carelessly. I picked it up and with a powerful swing, launched it into Mira's heart.

Guilt killed me almost more than my knife killed her. Of course, she had a reason to live. I looked at her beautiful, limp body and thought about her murderous death. The murder was foreign yet fluent; reluctant yet swift.

I told her to get out of my house. My effin' house and she decided she was going to murder me! I began to think of what I was going to do with her body. What if the peacekeepers saw it? I would probably be sentenced to death, but then again, I make Snow way too much money already, so he won't dare throw away his gold, even if I was branded as the Capitol's copper at the same time; I was worth nothing.

I carried her bloody and gory body up to the guest bedroom. I found a duffel bag and stuffed her in it savagely. I put the duffel over my shoulder and carried it out the door and to the beach.

I reopened the bag and took Mira's body out of it. I took one last look at Mira's beautiful face and sprinkled it with sand: the proper way to send someone off.

I put sea shells all in her hair and on her shirt and wove grass through random knots, trying to make her as presentable as could be. I covered her wound the wild lilacs that grew around me. She looked so innocent. I fell in love with her all over again and then reminded myself she was dead.

When Mira was all decked out with sea shells and flowers and sand I sprinkled more sand on her delicate body. She was ready.

I carried her thoughtlessly to the salt, wavy water that hugged the rocks. I put Mira's body in it and pushed her regretfully. I watched a little while as her familiar face got smaller and smaller as she floated of into the sunny horizon. Finally, the waves swallowed her.

I felt guilty and relieved. I no longer had to deal with Mira's stupid and snarky attitude, but I really was going to miss her. I couldn't get over the fact that I had murdered her. I murdered plenty of other people in the games, but not someone that I once loved. I was pretty much sure that I loved her. Even though she tried to kill me with a kitchen knife, she was an all right girlfriend.

Wait- is it just me or if my judgment on people really screwed?


	13. Story Telling

"Hello."

I looked up from my journal to see green orbs starring back at me. I was startled at first, but the sight of this girl comforted me instantly in a way words could not express. That voice would never leave my head.

"Hi," I said awkwardly. I was working on Johanna's oath. I considered it as a fail.

"I'm Annie Cresta," The girl said, taking a seat next to me. I smiled.

"I know," I replied. Now that I think of it that was so stupid! I sounded like a stalker and from the look she gave me I probably looked like one to. I was ashamed on the inside, but not on the outside. I'm Finnick Odair!

She sat beside me and I got a good look at her. She had long, dark brown hair that cascaded in a curtain around her shoulders and face. Her large green eyes were slightly far apart and had a natural, comforting glow about them. She was beautiful.

"You're Finnick Odair, right?" She asked. I felt embarrassed that I didn't tell her my name after she told me hers. Annie Cresta, it was. It had a nice ring to it. It suited her, from what I could tell.

I nodded bashfully. I tried to concentrate on Jos' oath, but I really couldn't. She was just so kind and thoughtful and nice. Even though she only spoke a few sentences to me, I felt like I knew her page by page like a beloved book.

We talked a while and I felt like I knew her even better. She had a sister that died in a mass shooting. I instantly thought of Johanna, whose sister died in a mass axe murder. Her other sister was only five who liked to tell silly stories of a giant squid that roamed our oceans freely. She seemed imaginative. Annie lived with her mother and father in the richer part of district four. I had always lived in the poorer part and had never been there before. Now, however, there is no poorer part of the district because when I did win the games I funded my old neighbors to live in the proper houses of the district. There were only five families, so it wasn't hard to pay for it or barely made a dent in my large pile of money that grows.

Her family was also a large tribute to poor families. They gave a monthly sum of her father's earning for families to buy groceries. My parents used to rely on them for our food because we could not afford anything. We faced very big hardships having eight members in the family.

"So there is only four of you now?" I asked carefully, digging a dent in the sand.

"Well, my other sister, whom was thirteen died just a few weeks ago," A smile played on her lips. "I believe you know her. Coral?"

I wanted to cry. Everything was escalating so fast that I didn't want to talk anymore. That was where I had seen those green eyes before! Coral. She had the mimicking eyes of Annie.

I nodded solemnly. Tears dappled my cheeks with a vulnerable appearance. Annie hugged me kindly.

After a few minutes I admitted ashamed: "I really liked talking to you."

It was about the most embarrassing thing I ever had to do. I shouldn't say 'Had' because I wanted to. I wanted her to know that I was there for her no matter what. I just hoped that she'd be there for me too.

I think I loved her.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

"And then Mira came! I was already sad enough; I didn't need that bitch coming along. I was already considering breaking up with her, but I didn't want to do it when I was crying, because she'd tell everyone a whole different story!" I was explaining my encounter with the maniac Mira to Annie. She was a really good listener.

"So then she tells me, Fin I'm breaking up with you. I'm sitting there crying in the sand and she tells me she's breaking up with me? So than I thought she was even worse. When she left I went to my house and she was sitting there drinking my coffee! She's all like, 'Oh, Fin. I decided that we're back together,' and I was all like, 'Get out of my house!' And then she took a steak knife and stabbed me in the shoulder!" I slid my shirt down my shoulder and showed her the scar. Her eyes widened but she remained quiet.

"And then she started beating me up! So I took- um- I took .."

I really couldn't finish that sentence. How was I supposed to tell my new best friend that I stabbed my ex-girlfriend?

"I stabbed her in the heart so she'd die quickly.." I was very embarrassed that I said it that fast with that much energy. My voice trailed off, but the words I had spoken clearly clung to the air, pregnant with meaning. I dared to look cautiously at Annie. I expected her to look at me with a look of disgust. I had killed a girl. But I killed more than three in the arena and got applauded for it, but here, I killed someone and I'll go to jail? This world was screwed.

"Finnick, it's okay!" Annie said. She rubbed my back and hugged me as I cried. "It's okay!" She reminded me so much of Coral it made me cry even more. When I was done crying we sat on the couch and watched the news on television. It was always depressing, but I watched it to make sure that one of the girls I had slept with in the past wasn't murdered. I didn't really give a crap anyways though.


	14. The Letter

I went into shock. I didn't even see who won the games, but I knew that it wasn't my tributes. It seemed like everything revolved around my stupid tributes. That's the way I knew them as; the one that pretty much killed himself in the bloodbath and the one that did kill herself with berries. Idiots, the two of them.

When I started thinking like that, I had to remind myself about what my mental health teacher taught me. Think of obvious facts about myself to get my brain off of traumatizing subjects.

_My name is Johanna Mason. I am twenty years old. My home is district seven. My mother was killed. My sister was killed. My father will not talk to me. I am the Capitols victor. Their lone victor, but of many of course. I'm mental now. I miss Cherry. Daphne-_

I stopped thinking. What did I think of Daphne? I was mad, but she wanted to be with her aunt of course. She knew Cherry better than I knew her. It was sad to think that her aunt was probably murdered because of me. I can't stop murdering people. Is that my problem? But I didn't kill Cherry. Did I? Many questions were going to be left unanswered, of course.

Then I got a perfect idea because of my unanswered questions: I was going to make a home-made gallows. That's right, a hanging post. Life would be better if I was to be with my mother, sister and many friends I have lost, or should I say murdered.

It's a good thing I thought of this hanging idea, because without it I would have to spend most of my earnings I got from murdering kids into the psychiatrist help I obviously need.

I stormed down to the now unused training center muttering unnecessary swears under my breath. I passed Cashmere DaMoine on my way down, and my curses got even more audible.

"I won't touch you today, Jo," She said. I yelled the swears now.

"In fact, with your sense of fashion, I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot poll. I'm sorry, Jo." She smirked mockingly. The words "I'm sorry, Jo" triggered multiple unwanted memories.  
I tried to flush my mind out the way my teacher told me to.

_My name is Johanna Mason .._

"I don't think you heard me. I'm sorry, Jo."

Cashmere was trying to taunt me. It was working.

I slammed my elbow against her windpipe and left her gagging for air.

"NOBODY SAYS THAT EXCEPT FOR DAPHNE!"

Hot, angry tears spilled over my face. Cashmere's face turned blue. I moved my elbow reluctantly, because I would have liked it to stay there that way so she would suffocate in my arms as my angry, ruthless tears spilled over her limp body.

Listen to me. I'm savage. I cannot think without murderous thoughts running through my brain.

I continued on my way to the training center. I was not about to forget about my promise to kill myself. I needed to know what Daphne was sorry for. I needed to. It was not something I never forgot about nor was I going to let it wash away out of my mind. I made it stick there until I could succeed.

The wood I needed was sitting uselessly in a corner. I gladly picked it up and lugged it back to my flat in the training center. Even though the game didn't start up again for while and they ended just a few weeks ago, I was titled to stay there because of my mental problems. Here, the Capitol wants to make sure I'll be sane to mentor next year.

I found some abandoned rope in Daphne's old room. I sat on the bed where she slept and starred at the desk she wrote in.

I noticed a piece of stationary lying untouched on the desk. I looked at it, and to my surprise (and dismay) there was a letter addressed to myself.

_Dear Johanna,_

_I realize we have come so close. I want you to know I was planning on Nightlock to help me out a little. I'm sorry that I couldn't say a lot before I died, but I just wanted them to show it. Show that I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by killing myself; I love you. I just knew that I was going to get killed on way or another, so it best be by me. _

_I wonder lots of things; if only you could see me! Now I'm almost positive I am in heaven with your sister Ember you scream about in your dreams. And Tylie, who is Finnick's friend. I know more than you think. _

_Again, I want you to know that I love you. I never wanted it to end this way, but I wanted to make sure that I didn't play by the Capitol's rules, because I know you wouldn't have wanted me to. _

_I'm sorry for my flaws. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry, Jo._

_We will meet again, where Cherry, Tylie, Ember and I wait for your visit. _

_Always yours, _

_Daphne_

Tears cascaded onto my cheeks. I read the letter out three times before throwing it aside with anger. I wait for your visit, the letter said. Little did she know that my visit was going to be sooner than planned.

I left Daphne's room and headed to my own. I vowed to myself that I would die in my luxurious woods, but that was far from an option here. I will visit my woods, even if in my dreams.

The noose of rope worked nicely with my post. Soon I was ready.

I realized that I needed someone to send me off, but there was not anyone that came to mind, so I tried to do the honors myself, though it did not work.

I thought of Cashmere. I did not want her to be my last thought. She would be happy to pull the rope tighter on my neck, though she was nearly dead herself. I hoped and prayed that a bitch like her went to hell. I didn't really want to meet her in my perfect world surrounded by the people I once loved and now **miss. **

I really and honestly didn't need the post; I just wanted an excuse to roam around before my last minutes.

I sat comfortably on my bed and pulled the rope tight. I could feel pricks of rough rope stick into my neck and I began to shed blood.


	15. Advice

They were laughing at me. How dare they? I'm Finnick Odair, the greatest Victor that ever lived. I don't care if I sound conceited either; that's the least of my worries. So what I had a tribute that lived then died. They didn't know how hard it was for me to face the cold hard truth.

I trotted down to Johanna's apartment. That's the whole reason I came to the stupid Capitol anyways. They were holding her hostage, making sure she was alright to mentor next year. The Capitol's a sick place; they want to help people for their own savage uses.

I knocked gently on her door in case she was sleeping. I heard a faint moan and walked in. My Johanna was lying in a puddle of her own blood. A rope was tied around her neck and there was various scratched on it. I ran over to her, scared that this was the last time I was ever going to hear her breathe. I untied the familiar Windsor knot that I taught Johanna a few years ago. She obviously did not forget.

I wasn't sure what to do next, but tried to revive her. Her pulse seemed to slacken, so I slung her over my shoulder and cautiously ran off to the infirmary.

"Mrs. Dunavangon! Mrs. Dunavangon!" Mrs. Dunavangon was our new nurse. I don't know what happened to Nurse Maloney or whatever her name was. Mrs. Dunavangon was rude, strict and annoying. Her needled face was bright pink and she had hideous bronze hair. She told me I inspired her to get it. The thought scared me.

"DUNVANGON!" I screamed, annoyed she hadn't heard me.

Dunavangon looked up from her nail file and raised her purple eyebrows. I shoved Jo onto the bed and sputtered, "Fix her!" to Dunavangon.

She cleaned Jo's scratches and checked her pulse.

"She needs CPR."

Dunavangon sat back down in her chair and picked up her file again. I widened my eyes in fury.

"Can you do it?" I said, my face blistered.

"I do not know how to preform CPR. You better call the funeral home." She smirked evilly.

"You're sick!" I yelled at her. I slapped her so hard her faux purple eyebrows fell off and I left her 'bronze' wig lopsided.

The red mark from my hand shone scarlet on her pink skin. I turned away from her ugly appearance and did CPR myself, and the flashbacks started pouring in.

I had done CPR on my father when he nearly drowned. I did it on Ty-

No. I had sworn to myself that I wouldn't remind myself of that painful day. I couldn't think back with crying. Even though my salty tears would help Jo's wounds, I did not shed one. Dunavangon was watching intensely and the slime did not deserve to see me break in emotion.

Jo's eyes fluttered and I hugged her so tight I thought I would break her ribs. She was alive, my snarky, slightly conceited Johanna had live through her painful attempt at suicide.

I wanted to yell at her, but she was obviously too weak to take the pressure and embarrassment.

"Am I in the afterlife? Ember? Daphne? Cherry?" Jo said weakly. It pained me to tell her that I had ruined her plan and that she was still in the fenced, cruel, harsh world. So I didn't.

I stuck a needle in her wrist to put her to sleep for a few hours. I carried her to Daphne's old bedroom with a sigh.

I went back to my room to work on her oath. I felt after this long day she really deserved a good, heartfelt letter.

_Dear Jo,_

_You've been with me through the good times and bad, and this is my time to say thank you. After you won the games, you were the one I could really connect to. I could connect to Mags, but your closer to my age._

_I've felt throughout the past years that you have loved me. I feel as though you are my sister. Jo, I lost my sisters, all five of them, but you make up for every single one of them. You're better than my girlfriend, Mira too. She can be a bit bitchy and sometimes, I don't even know why I stay with her._

_But now I've killed her! I sunk her out to see and gave her a proper send off, but I killed her! Sure, she was going to kill me, but nobody deserves to get their lives ended. Nobody deserves to die._

_You tried to kill yourself Jo. I know I'm already dead, but please don't kill yourself, I love you too much. You're the best friend I ever had and I do not want to see your life end in your own hands. You mean too much to me._

_I really hope you nor I are mentoring this year. I hope Murdock and Summer are and I hope Blight and Delano are for you. I know Blight's a good guy, but you need a break because of your- instability _

_Even though I never met Cherry or Blight or Ashton face to face, I feel as though I already knew them. Just the stories you tell me and the pictures make my mind think that I'm old pals of theirs. I wish I knew Cherry. I know that it's devastating, but life goes on, Jo. Push through the past into a new door to the future._

_Listen to me! I'm sick! I should be following this advice; I'm still stuck on Coral and Ty-_

What is happening to me? I just told myself once again. I made a pact and I intend to keep it. At least fro a little while. Like, until I die.


	16. How the World Could've Been

I stepped of the train to smell the welcoming scent of District Seven again. I sighed happily and lugged my duffel bag back to my home in Victor Village.

I was met at the gate by Blight and Ashton. Blight will not be mentoring this year; he needs to stay home and protect Ashton. Delano offered to take his place, which I thought was really sweet. I know he wouldn't do it for me, though.

"Nona, Nona!" Ashton cried and hugged my legs. I bent down to reach his height.

"Ashy! What have you been up to while I was gone?"

"Planning for us. We missed a lot of time when you were staying in the Capitol. Daddy said you had some 'business' to finish up. Nona, I have never ever seen you do business."

I chuckled. Ashton is only four, but the smartest kid I know. He has dark hair like Blight but the same sparkling eyes as Cherry. I felt like I should be happy, but I just couldn't. Yes, I was back with my luxurious forests, but I felt as though District Seven had an eerily sort of sadness to it now.

"I need to talk to you, Johanna," Delano said. This is the first time he's actually addressed something to me and me only. When he mentored me he always spoke to 'us', as in me and my district partner.

I nodded and followed Delano to the neighboring house to mine, which must have been his.

"There has been a murder. A few of them actually. He tried to murder Fern."

I sucked a breath in. Mayor Fern was loved and cherished in our district. He keeps everything fair and leveled and does so much charity work. I know Blight was saddened; he was partners with Fern in charity work. They did stuff like feed the hungry and cloth the less fortunate. With Fern in town, there was always new jobs people could do to earn money for themselves.

"Why?" I asked mystified. Delano shook his head and shrugged. He smiled solemnly at the ground as tears dripped down his face.

"He murdered the butcher with his own clever. He was found in the store room. They had to throw all of the precisely cut meat out because the butcher's blood was everywhere. You couldn't tell if it were his or the cattle; we don't need a disease going around."

Delano spoke with a grave expression on him. The butcher's last name was Mason, as Mayor Fern's is. There is a lot of Masons; there is no relativity.

"We think he may be after you next. He comes with an axe. Be prepared to run."

With that, Delano left his home, leaving me awkwardly standing there.

I went into my own home which I have not seen for several weeks. It looked untouched. Shadows seemed to linger in the corners as if my face tortured them. When I flicked on the light I was sure I could hear someone yawning. It was really freaking me out.

I went up in my bedroom and I felt as though relief swept over me. My beloved birch bark was still sitting on my bed where I left it. It had been my token in the games and I usually never left it.

As I hugged it joyfully, my palms mysteriously began to sweat. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and I shivered as a draft chilled my shoulders. As I turned around I saw a gleam of an axe.

It was the 'Mason' Murderer.

I screamed as he swung the axe, hoping for a death blow. I ducked and run down the hall, moving in a swiveled path: a trick I learned while running from murderous kids in the games. He swung the axe to the left and I moved to the right.

When the axe got lodged in the floor panel, I took this opportunity to dash down the stairs.

My blood spurted out from my calf; the axe nicked it while running from left to right. It was better than being dead.

I ran down the stairs and grabbed a kitchen clever. The murderer's eyes widened. He threw the axe at me on more time and missed. I chucked the clever at it, and it hit him in the stomach; a death shot.

I screamed and cried and sat on the sofa, hugging my knees. The once white couch was stained with scarlet liquid.

It was all coming back.

"Help me, Jo! Why aren't you here? Jo!" Cedar, my younger sister, was crying for me. I frantically looked around when I saw him: Cedar's murderer.

His axe gleamed in the shadowy light.

"Help me, Jo!" Cedar was screaming with a high, bloodcurdling voice. I was torn in what to do. I could save my little sister and get killed, or run off, possibly getting help and saving myself.

I ran off, but was stopped by Tylie.

"You should help her."

Tylie's voice was smooth and cold. Her icy eyes lingered on the small axe I held.

"Why don't you kill him?" She asked. I wasn't sure what to do. Tylie seemed smart and reasonable, so I did. I tuned back and threw my axe for all it was worth. It hit the murderer in the head, but Cedar was already dead. Tylie nodded cruelly and smiled.

"Sorry you couldn't save your sister."

She kept her same pose, leaning against the tree in the forest. Then, Daphne appeared, also leaning against a tree.

"You could've helped her. You could've helped me," She said. I felt as though I were a rag, torn to pieces. I was just getting used and used until I was nothing and had no living remains.

"I'm sorry!" I cried. Tears spilled down my cheeks as I tried to run, but Daphne was too quick for me.

"You could've. Oh, Johanna, what the world could've been without you. Cedar would be alive. Cherry would be alive."

As if I were a dummy, she kicked me in the calf, right where my cut was from the 'Mason' murderer. When I tried to run the other way, Cherry was there.

"You're the reason I died. Oh, what the world could've been," She said, pushing me onto the ground ruthlessly. "You killed me."

"And me," Daphne echoed. She edged towards me. I was boxed in. "Now, I will kill you."

Cherry pinned me down and Daphne shoved Nightlock down my throat.

'_Oh, what the world could've been.'_


	17. The 'Date'

***This chapter may be a little more mature than what I ususally post. If you do not want to read it, you don't have to :) Happy reading! ~Dawn**

When I went into my room I noticed it right away. It was a black envelope. I thought I was fortunate enough to never ever get one of these ever again. But now, of course, I was a train back on its rails; I was going back to my 'dates'.

A black envelope tells me who I will be on my date with, the location, the length of time and what they paid for me.

I felt like I was going to throw up. I am sold at an auction and the highest bidder gets me. It's sick.

This time I was going to be with Lucy Snow. Just great. It's President Snow's niece. She's very sweet but dirty minded. I still have bruises from the last time I went on a 'date' with her.

It looked like I was needed in the Capitol tomorrow. It sucked, but it was what life of a victor is like. I know Cashmere, the gorgeous victor from One's dates haven't stopped since she got pulled out of the arena. But I also know she enjoys it, and to her, getting a black envelope is an honor. She's branded as the Capitol's slut.

When I got on the train the next morning I brought a sea shell that Annie Cresta gave me. She's a good listener and doesn't flinch when I tell her about my horrible past, which I like. I know she can handle it. I really wish I just got a few more days to spend with her. She was gorgeous in every way; mostly her personality. She was probably just as rich as the mayor. She doesn't let that go to her head though, which is my favorite part about her. She's similar to District Seven's mayor that Johanna told me about: She feeds the hungry and clothes the poor. She's so mature, sometimes I have to remind myself that she's only seventeen; a four year age gap between her and I.

I hugged the scallop shell close to my chest and took one more breath of District Four. After another night with Lucy, I may not make it back.

"Hello, Lucy," I said with a wink when I arrived at her penthouse.

"Hello, Finnick," She said very seductively. She kissed me on the cheek.

Lucy was wearing a skirt that barely covered her ass. It was tight and rather repulsive in multiple ways. You could see her nipples because her top was way too low and tight for the size of her breasts.

"Let's go," she said. I was staring so hard at her breasts I almost didn't hear. She giggled and pinched my butt. I tried not to take offence.

"Where are we going?" I asked in a shaky voice.

"A club that my uncle suggested."

Oh no. I wanted to moan, but I knew that it would be rude. I knew that if President Snow suggested it, it can't be good. It's was probably going to be strippers club.

I was right.

Inside the club, half naked women danced around me. I winced.

Lucy leaned over the table and kissed me hard on the mouth. She grooved and added her tongue, which made me want to pull back, but her hand was roughly paid on the back of my head.

A dancer walked by and snapped the waistband of my pants.

"I think we should take this home," Lucy said with a wink, trying to get in my pants. I nodded and forced myself not to let my shoulders fall in disappointment. It's not that I wanted to stay at the club; it's that I didn't want Lucy in the same bed as me.

When we got back to the penthouse, she ordered the servant to bring us some drinks and some 'fun' things. Of course, he came back with the things I really didn't want to see. Next thing I know, Lucy is literally in my pants.

She placed my hand on her bare ass and kissed me until I felt like I was unconscious. Next morning, I woke up with a naked and sleeping Lucy on top of me. Her thong and miniskirt was lying carelessly on the floor along with her bra and tank top. I flipped Lucy off of me and picked up my boxers and put them off. I picked her bra up my mistake instead of my shirt. The cups were about the size of her stomach horizontally, which isn't exactly small.

When I tried to sneak out quietly, Lucy woke up. Her bare breasts were gleaming against the morning sun.

"I paid for you for twenty four hours. It's not eleven o'clock yet," she licked her lips. I shut my eyes and took of my clothing again.

In the middle of our 'date' her parents came in. It's lucky that we had a comforter on us. Even though, my cheeks turned bright red.

They walked in as if we weren't there and it was perfectly normal. Her mother picked up the 'fun thing' wrapper and smiled.

"I'm surprised you didn't turn out pregnant by now, Lucy. You keep on forgetting to make your date put these on. I'm proud of you this time."

Lucy smiled and then urged her parents out, but before her dad left he said, "Hello there, Finnick."

I smiled back.

"What happened to Cale?" Lucy's mom asked. "He was cute and his boxers seemed a good size."

I was taken aback at this comment.

"He didn't deliver," Lucy told her mom very a-matter-of-factly. "But Finnick is."

Then, without warning, she lunged on top of me. I yelped with surprised and Lucy and her mother laughed.

They're creeps. All of them.


	18. The 70th Hunger Games

'Annie Cresta.'

Her name kept on ringing through my head, but why? She was chosen as tribute; she was reaped. That's why. When our escort read her name out my whole world went black. My beloved Annie, my friend and my lover is now going into a sacrifice situation. She's too pure to kill anyone, everyone knows it. She's pretty much guaranteed to die. But I couldn't let her pass like this. I couldn't.

Her whole training and interviews zipped by in a flash. I remember crying, but this was no place for sappiness. I needed sponsors. I had gotten a few. I remember her winning them over because she told them she loved her mentor, meaning me. I took it as a complement; it warmed my heart and gave it light, even in these darkest moments.

She was beautiful, of course, so that really gave me something to work with. Before I knew it, I had more than twenty sponsors for her. Lake, the boy tribute, is not far behind. I have to say, he's handsome and strong. People say he reminds them of me.

The day of the bloodbath I was in a nervous wreck, even more so than the year before. I was freaking out; I was scratching myself, biting my nails and playing with my hair constantly. Before Annie went down to the hovercraft with her stylist, I kissed her.

It felt like a perfect world where nobody was hurt or harmed, but when our lips broke apart I returned to reality.

I pressed my beloved scallop shell she gave me months before in the palm of her hand. She took it and dashed off, making sure she didn't miss the hovercraft. If she did she would be executed violently and she must have felt like she needed a chance.

The sounds of swords clinking announced the starting of the games.

I saw Annie. She was sprinting across the Cornucopia; Lake not far behind. Annie stopped abruptly and looked at Lake. They shook their heads at the same time and dashed to find shelter.

They ran so long I was surprised that they hadn't come to a cliff or force field symbolizing the end of the arena.

Instead, they came to three wooden houses, all in a row.

"What the hell is this?" Annie whispered to Lake.

"A trap," He replied. "It has to be. Also, the other kids are probably going to run in here. We just have to be smarter. What do Gamemakers think? That we're all going to live in one cozy neighborhood?"

I chuckled at this. Of course it was a trap. I was glad that Lake was helping Annie out. I was just scared for her if they were the last two. Of course, it's a fight until the last victor.

Then the careers approached. I watched intensely and nervously. My palms were sweating. Murdock, the mentor with me, was also feeling sick as well. The green tint to his face told me so.

I rocked myself back and forth on the swivel chair.

_Please don't die now, Annie. Please._

I saw the boy from 1 ran over to my tributes. Annie and Lake started to run. The came upon those dangerous, rickety houses and entered them. It had no windows; the only source of light being the dim torch on the back of the door.

People started to gather around mine and Annie's computers and watch interestedly.

I could hear the careers arguing. Then I heard a girl whisper: "The chimney."

She climbed onto the roof and squeezed through the chimney. I became so nervous. A headache came on.

The girl sliced through Lake's neck with a sword. I screamed. His head was cleanly severed from his body! One of the computers went black.

Annie's eyes widened.

"You're next," The girl laughed manically. I started to cry; not even caring who was watching.

But that's when it happened.

Water punctured through the rotting wood of the cabin and drowned Lake's head. I scream came from the girl and she drowned.

Annie swam out the door along with the tide. She kept herself afloat and swam. That's all she did. There was no canons, and I got worried all over again.

But then, Claudius Templesmith's voice rang out.

"Annie Cresta, our Victor for the 70th annual Hunger Games!"


	19. Not so Perfect

"Lake, Lake! Lost his head! Lake, Lake, is now dead! Swim, swim, and swim for your lives! Swim or you'll die! Swim, swim, or end up like Lake! Lake, Lake! Lost his head!"

Annie's frantic chanting rung in my ears that night when she was pulled out of the arena. Right off, doctors knew something wasn't right. It turns out, she was mental.

Annie, the beloved girl I once knew was now scared, hopeless and insane. It wasn't her fault; it was the Capitol's for even having these stupid games that had affected families forever. It would affect her mind, her body and her way of life. It would affect me.

"Lake!" Annie screamed when she saw me. "Wait! You are not Lake! You are a man I once knew. A victor of triumph, for that is how a victor is described. You and I, we are Victors of Triumph!"

I guess we're victors of triumph, but I this particular moment, I felt like I was a victim of triumph.

Annie now has a distinct way of talking. She sounds wise. She doesn't use abbreviations; she sound logical. She is not my Annie.

"Annie, calm down," I spoke to her as she swung at the doctors that tried to pin her down. "Calm down. I'm right here Annie. Do you need to talk to me?"

"Oh, yes. I need to get something out that had been clogged in my fist for a long time." To my surprise and annoyance, she punched me in the jaw. It was quick and I felt vulnerable to a weak, unstable girl that is not right in the head. "There! It rubbed off on your face! Lake's blood did. It had been sitting on my dear old finger annoying the hell out of me. Now it's your turn!" She giggled like it was a harmless game.

I touched Annie's cheek slightly, circling her cheekbone. She screamed, and I jumped back.

"She's not ready for human contact yet, Mr. Odair," a female nurse said with a wink. I nodded briefly. Annie used to love when I touched her cheek. Now she screams.

Annie started her chant again. It grew louder and louder, until the nurse plunged a needle into the side of her delicate neck. Annie's screams were resolved into mumbles, then to the eerie silence of the sterile white hospital.

I plunked into a chair and cried. I wailed and sobbed until I felt as though I was no more. Nobody could make me feel better. I thought of the one person who surely would try, though. It was Johanna.

Minutes later, she swaggered into the hospital. Her riding boots had a peculiar color to them, they were red. Red and blue what looked like snake skin.

"Nice boots," I snorted between my tears. Johanna arched an eyebrow.

"Nice shirt," she nodded. My shirt was grey and full of saline solution that Annie had sprayed at me and blood when she unplugged herself from the machine attached to her wrist.

I smiled for what seemed like the first in decades. Centuries maybe.

For the first time, ever, I realized how gorgeous Johanna was. She had large brown eyes and long hair that framed her face. I noticed that she had a scar. It was long and grew from her lip strait down to her collarbone. It was ugly, but compared to her pretty face, it was nothing.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked, staring me in the face. Color flushed to my cheeks and I bit my lip.

"No reason," I said and turned away. After a few minutes of silence, Johanna spoke in a voice I would have never guessed to be her.

"Have you ever wondered if you could just go to sleep, never wake up and grow old? Let a blanket of dust cover you and then eventually be wrapped in deaths arms?"

Johanna sounded vulnerable, small and scared, like she was about to cry. That is not the Johanna I know and occasionally love, that is not the Johanna I saved from the ropes that stuck to her neck, that is not the Johanna I traded my potato skins for her fish, that is not the Johanna I laugh with, talk with and have fun with. It's not Johanna.

It isn't Johanna. It's Annie.

I don't know how the hell she was so sneaky. I don't know where Johanna went, I'm just glad she is here with me.

"What are you doing here, Annie?"

"I am not Annie," she says with more confidence than before. "I am a girl that is unheard, unspoken of and unseen. I am someone who will never fall into the arms of curiosity and will not be captured by any sickness. I am someone who doesn't give up and will stay alive against the odds."

Her words motivate me. I have never ever heard Annie talk that much in her life, except for her murderous chant that she finally shut up about.

"Wow," I mutter. I wish I could speak like that.

"Finnick," she said, staring through me with her green orbs of eyes.

"Yes, Annie?"

"I am not Annie."

"Yes, Victor of Triumph?" A smile plays on her lips. I yearn for them to meet mine, but the nurse says she is not ready for human contact.

"I want you to put your hands on my waist, like you used to."

I did so. I guess she is alright.

"Now, I want you to rock me gently, like we are still in the water in District Four."

I did.

"Now, picture the waves splashing over us as we sit in the sand."

I do.

"Everything is perfect," I say to myself. Annie hears. She screams and jumps out of my arms. I try not to look hurt, but inside I feel as though a storm is welling inside of me. Just when I thought Annie was going to be alright, that little mad part that still dwelled in her mind erupted. Nothing was ever going to be the same. I guess I have to control.

"Lake, Lake, lost his head! Lake, Lake, is now dead! Swim, swim, and swim for your lives! Swim, swim, or you will die!" Annie ran out of the room frantically, and once again, I did not hold back on my tears.


	20. What's Wrong With You?

I thought about Finnick. I really did feel pain for him. He really did love this girl. I'm glad that I don't love anyone like he loves her. I would not want to be the one training a potential boyfriend how to put a spoonful of stew into his mouth without one scream. I'd hate to be Finnick in this situation.

Who needs love, anyways? The best part about being independent and single is being free. I am not going to be dragged anywhere unnecessary.

I remembered my horrible dream when I was back at Victor's Village. It had haunted me. It turns out, Delano and Blight were just trying to get me going, and I hate them for it.

I still have a clear visualization of the horrors that seemed to wrap their arms and round me and strangle me as I remember all the experiences and the affects that dream had on me. It shook me. It shook who I was and affected how I do things. For example; I cannot eat blueberries because they resembled the deadly ones that Dream-Daphne shoved down my throat with such anger it made me feel embarrassed, emphasized and outnumbered, which only a fraction of what I really was.

I cried into my hands, shedding tears of vulnerability. I gave little thought of who could be listening, watching and most likely laughing at my state. I think too much on what other people think of me, which is no way of leading a lifestyle.

I thought of my dear (wow, I'm doing a lot of thinking today) Ashton. I haven't seen him since his mother died. I had to stay in the Capitol hospital because of my mental state. Annie will probably be granted admittance to any room as long as she lives. She would never shake out of the shell of damage that groped her body and mind harshly.

Finnick told me that when she walks in the room, the whole crowd stares at her. Her reflection of beauty cannot be withheld. It shimmers and shines when she walks and talks with the perfect toned voice of hers.

He is a hopeless romantic, obviously.

I have only gotten a short glance at Annie, but realized that he was not exaggerating. Her chestnut hair seemed to perfectly balance her head with such a shine it mesmerizes me. She must have had boys crawling at her heels, including Finnick.

He told me he knew her like a beloved book, page after page of details that tied what was her together it was magical. I was so tired of hearing how amazing she was. It was no lie that I had loved Finnick since the day I first met him, it just wore off a bit. I still think back to the day when I was tripping over his feet, trying to get a look at the famous and gorgeous, Finnick Odair himself.

Blight was drunk that day, as usual, so it was Finnick, who was only sixteen, who had to be there when I stepped off of the Capitols noisy hovercraft.

I remember wind blowing in my face so I couldn't see a lot, so I bumped right into his rock hard chest.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Hey, it's alright. I did the same thing getting out two years ago, but it was Murdock, so it was a bit more awkward," he had said with a wink. I blushed furiously through the dirt that was sprawled across cheek, mixed with blood. I told myself he couldn't see it, but I knew by his eyes he had seen me just fine. I was embarrassed to the end of no belief.

"So, I liked your strategy," he told me. I was pretending to be weak, but then when the tributes got in a fight with me, I unleashed the tiny, vicious soul that had grown throughout the games.

"Thank you," I said almost too quietly.

"What's wrong with you?" Finnick had said to me smirking and leaning back in the arm chair as if it were a joke. I remember being outraged, my romantic feelings for him gone.

"Excuse me, but I just killed over five children, would two and starved to death in a tree and you ask me what's wrong? I think it's a little overrated. You went through this once, so smarten up and act like it, you good for nothing moron!" I slapped him. I still smile at the thought and sound of my flesh hitting his jawline, bruising it. Then, I kicked him in the groin, causing him to double over with pain. I shrugged back then. It caused me outstanding pain to hit him, but it was worth every minute of it. I laughed at him, and exited the check-up room. I felt as though he was the biggest jerk of all, but then I reminded myself that it was the Capitol, for even causing him to make that comment, for even causing us to meet. Maybe that part wasn't so bad. He is my best friend now.

"Maybe you should keep your mouth shut next time," I smirked that time. It was harsh, but I didn't do all of that for nothing. I didn't do it to be asked what's 'wrong' with me.

"Wait!" He said between gasps of pain. I turned at him with my eyebrows arched. "I meant, why the hell are you so quiet? But now, I'm not so sure of that."

I smiled a bit, but still left him. He had lighter, shaggier and longer hair then, which was 'the' style. I like it now better though. Anyways, he had sparkling green eyes as he does at the moment, but these weren't full of pain and grief; they were happy, spite all he went through before I met him. He was gorgeous, but my feelings for him really wore off. Is that a bad thing? I wouldn't say so. I really would have dated him, but my persona of a vicious murderer had to suffice, of course. I wish that the stupid escort would have picked a different slip, and then I wouldn't be where I was now. I would still have a family, but I wouldn't have met so many people that lifted me higher without it. I wouldn't have known the importance of forgiveness and the value of friendship.

But the world is, confusing, manipulative, cruel and ignoring, and I blame other people for it. I hate everyone sometimes, but of course, that's not the way to think. I set myself in Finnick's shoes, sometimes. He's usually happy, even though he's sleeping with a different girl every night, without even getting a break to see the girl he really loves in District Four. I try to be like him; I try to mimic. But of course, I an opposite, and individual and I am cruel as well, just in different ways. I'm just like the outside world, and sometimes, I do ask myself, 'What's wrong with you?'


	21. Please Read

Hi there :)

I am going to discontinue 'My Oath to You'. I made a big decision doing so. I just think it was getting out of hand, but also, something drastically changed my life.

I cannot update anymore due to that change. I am terribly sorry.

-Dawn


End file.
